Thinking About You...

I've made a point to not watch TV this summer.  I got rid of cable and decided I was going to feed my brain with books versus mindless, meaningless television.  I've done a pretty good job; I've read no less than 12 books this summer and will start on 13 tonight.  I've only watched TV for the news and for my Sunday morning politics fix, and Redbox movies, but that doesn't count. :)

Well I decided to flip on the tele Friday evening and what was on?  The "Stand Up to Cancer" special.  One thing you may not know about me; I get super emotional when it comes to TV fundraisers.  There is something about a large group of people who get together to support a cause that makes me weep like Jim Bakker when he got busted in a sex scandal.  Friday was no different, except that this time it was almost instantaneous weeping. 

I lost my beautiful, sweet, funny, step-mother to cancer earlier this year.  I've never experienced anything like watching her fade away.  I didn't spend every day with her like my dad and step-sister and step-aunts did.  They had to watch this awful disease take away pieces of her every day until there was nothing left to take.  They are so much stronger than I will ever be and I love them for their strength.

So I sat there for a good 5 minutes with tears streaming down my face, thinking about Paula Sue and telling myself, "Just turn off the TV, dummy! Why are you doing this to yourself?"  I did it to myself because I want to always remember this pain.   It's the least I can do for the pain she went through and the pain family went through and still go through.

Then, the next day was September 11th.  I don't need to say much more than that, right?  We all feel that pain and we all know where we were that day. 

Don't worry; I didn't sit around and cry like a baby all weekend.  I had a lot of fun, too.  I toured the Boulevard Brewery, had lunch and dinner with friends, I laughed a lot, watched some little league baseball, and enjoyed the weather. 

But I thought about you a lot this weekend, Paula Sue.  I love you and I miss you.