Sorry that I've been AWOL for a few. I've had a lot going on (yeah, yeah ... don't we all). But seriously, I have.
Hey, guess what? I have secrets. Yes, I know it's difficult to believe that I can keep anything to myself with as much "sharing" as I do on here, but I do have a couple of good, juicy secrets right now. One of them I will hopefully be able to share soon, the other one, I most definitely will not. It does make me feel naughty, though, telling you that I have a secret that I won't share. It's almost as good as sharing it. :)
Moving on ... I was talking to a friend this week about my recent epiphany that I need to leave some sort of legacy behind. I guess it's not really an epiphany; I've always wanted to make a mark on this world. It's more of a "come to Jesus" with my future self that I'd better get off my ass and figure out how I'm going to leave this world a better place than I found it on July 3, 1970 at around 8:32 a.m. I mean, seriously. People were starting to wear hot pants, Michael Jackson had the #1 song and some maniac thief was President. It shouldn't be TOO difficult to kick 1970's ass, right?
He told me that my writing could be my legacy. I'm not sure that he's actually read my blog, but I guess it leaves some sort of legacy, or bad taste ... whatever you want to call it. :)
So, what am I going to do? I know I've talked about this before, but I'm still looking for some good ideas here, people!
I have one great friend who is a liberal, tree-hugging freak like me and is always willing to volunteer her time for the greater good. She has talked me in to judging a science fair next month (pause for laughter). Anyone who knows me knows that my experience with science projects went about as far as what I could mix with vodka without poisoning myself, but I'm going to give it a try! She assured me that there will be other scores and that my lack of scientific knowledge won't destroy these young, noble minds. I'll report the outcome, don't you worry.
I guess I need to close with random mish-mash since that's what I decided the title would be, so I'll give you this - I'm 99% sure I could never be a swinger. I appreciate the concept, but I can't willingly let some other woman perform unmentionable sexual favors for my man. Now ... if I were completely over him and didn't want to perform unmetionable sexual favors for him myself, that's another story. That's why I left that 1% possibility in there ... :)
Peace, love and juicy secrets, friends!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
I can't make this up, people ...
So, I haven't told this to the "blogosphere," but I was dating a guy for a few weeks. Yep. I made it to "a few weeks" status. (Confetti, horns, whoo hoos. Enough.)
This particular guy was someone whom I'd dated around four years ago. It (obviously) didn't work out for various reasons. The "relationship" (I use the term loosely) ended on bad terms back then, and I never thought I'd want to speak his name again let alone date him. Time heals wounds, I suppose. Or, in my case, faded just exactly how large of a douche bag he truly was ... for a few weeks.
When he started "pursuing" me again, I knew that I didn't feel the same way that I felt four years ago, but my dating life hadn't been all that fantastic lately so I thought I'd open up my heart and give it a try. He assured me that he was "a different person," and I believed him.
I won't go into all of the details, but I quickly realized that the feelings weren't developing and likely wouldn't be rekindled. I could forgive how he'd treated me in the past, but I couldn't forget.
Unfortunately, he thought he could buy my affections: nice dinners, lots of movies, Christmas presents, you get the picture. Men, know this; regardless of how much money you throw at me, it's not going to make me dig you if you're truly a selfish, petty, lying douche bag.
It turns out he hadn't actually changed, he'd just gotten better at the bullshit. He is still a petty, passive aggressive prick.
Case in point: When I told him that I'd like to talk to him about us, he asked me to send him a text message. When I apologized and told him that I just couldn't forgive the past and didn't feel "those feelings" for him, he told me he wished I would have told him before he spent all of the money on me. Yeah ... it's obvious you're a MUCH better person ...
I get it. Your ego was bruised and your feelings were hurt, but take it like a man and move on. Instead, I got a text message from him today asking if he could get his cock ring back. No, seriously. He wants his cock ring back.
So many thoughts ran through my head about how I could respond to this request. One daydream I had was just to send him a check for $25 and write "for the cock ring" in the memo line. I would send along a little note calling him a "petty little bitch" and tell him not to spend it all in one place. But, I decided that would make ME the petty little bitch and, quite honestly, I really don't want to waste $25 on a cock ring.
Then I thought about telling him that I don't have it any more, that my dog got ahold of it and it's now her chew toy. I figured he wouldn't believe that one, so I decided I'd just mail it to him. So hey, USPS, keep an eye out for a cock ring in a Scentsy box. It's on the way!
Little does he know, I still have the last cock ring he left at my place four years ago, so I'm not down any sex toys. Score one for Spiffy! :)
This particular guy was someone whom I'd dated around four years ago. It (obviously) didn't work out for various reasons. The "relationship" (I use the term loosely) ended on bad terms back then, and I never thought I'd want to speak his name again let alone date him. Time heals wounds, I suppose. Or, in my case, faded just exactly how large of a douche bag he truly was ... for a few weeks.
When he started "pursuing" me again, I knew that I didn't feel the same way that I felt four years ago, but my dating life hadn't been all that fantastic lately so I thought I'd open up my heart and give it a try. He assured me that he was "a different person," and I believed him.
I won't go into all of the details, but I quickly realized that the feelings weren't developing and likely wouldn't be rekindled. I could forgive how he'd treated me in the past, but I couldn't forget.
Unfortunately, he thought he could buy my affections: nice dinners, lots of movies, Christmas presents, you get the picture. Men, know this; regardless of how much money you throw at me, it's not going to make me dig you if you're truly a selfish, petty, lying douche bag.
It turns out he hadn't actually changed, he'd just gotten better at the bullshit. He is still a petty, passive aggressive prick.
Case in point: When I told him that I'd like to talk to him about us, he asked me to send him a text message. When I apologized and told him that I just couldn't forgive the past and didn't feel "those feelings" for him, he told me he wished I would have told him before he spent all of the money on me. Yeah ... it's obvious you're a MUCH better person ...
I get it. Your ego was bruised and your feelings were hurt, but take it like a man and move on. Instead, I got a text message from him today asking if he could get his cock ring back. No, seriously. He wants his cock ring back.
So many thoughts ran through my head about how I could respond to this request. One daydream I had was just to send him a check for $25 and write "for the cock ring" in the memo line. I would send along a little note calling him a "petty little bitch" and tell him not to spend it all in one place. But, I decided that would make ME the petty little bitch and, quite honestly, I really don't want to waste $25 on a cock ring.
Then I thought about telling him that I don't have it any more, that my dog got ahold of it and it's now her chew toy. I figured he wouldn't believe that one, so I decided I'd just mail it to him. So hey, USPS, keep an eye out for a cock ring in a Scentsy box. It's on the way!
Little does he know, I still have the last cock ring he left at my place four years ago, so I'm not down any sex toys. Score one for Spiffy! :)
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