What's a Spiffy Chick to do...

You may not know this about me, but I'm pretty good at giving advice to others - whether it is solicited or not. Relationship advice is my forte.  Again, I believe I'm good at it, those receiving my advice may tell you otherwise. What I'm not good at is figuring out my own relationship issues.  Or, in this case, stalled relationship issues.

First off, I think you all should know that among all of my wonderfulness, I have issues.  I don't trust people, I'm slow to let them through my surly facade and I often times find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop.  See, I can admit my own faults.

With that stated, I've been in a holding pattern of sorts with a guy for almost a year now.  The first "go round" I had my walls up and didn't make it very easy on him.  I felt he was moving too fast when I wanted to slowly get to know him.  I cut it off pretty quickly and, honestly, wasn't very nice about it. Afterward I performed a little internal self-analyzing and realized how much of an asshole I was.

When you ask a girl what she wants out of a relationship, one of the first things she'll say is to be with someone who wants to be with her and appreciates her.  I had pushed this guy away because I was scared.  He wasn't a jerk who led me on, he was a guy who wanted to get to know me.  Shame on me.

Fast-forward six months or so later. I apologized profusely, admitted my wrong and my faults and asked if he'd be willing to take it a little slower so we could get to know each other.  Well, it's definitely moving slow. We've seen each other a couple of times since then, but there has been little if any effort on his end this go 'round. 

Therein lies my dilemma.  What's a Spiffy Chick to do?  I don't understand his signals.  He's not speaking a language that I can interpret.  That's the best way I can put it.  In the words of the immortal 80's rock band Loverboy - Turn Me Loose (if you're not interested).

So, Spiffy (you may ask) why don't you just read the writing on the wall and move along?  Well (I answer) I'm not waiting around, that's for sure, I'm just confused and hoped he would give me a chance.

I'm not sure whether he reads my blog.  If he does, he'll know who he is and maybe this will light a fire under his ass.  Afterall, we've been stuck on the low end of the bell curve for quite a while...

Oh, and let this be a warning to anyone who crosses my path.  You could, one day, become blog fodder.  :)

What's a girl to do about VD??

No, no, no.  Spiffy isn't suffering from a case of the oozy bits.  Like all other single chicks out there, I'm embarking on another Valentine's Day sans Valentine. (insert sniffle).

I don't really buy into the VD hype.  Nah, love is peachy, but I don't think that a $5 bouquet of ditch weed from QT, a heart-shaped box of calories, and a cheesy card with hugging bears or something equally as stupid on the front is required to represent said love...at least not ONLY on February 14th!

Who am I kidding?!  I love that shit!  Cheese it up!  Profess your love using nothing but the sayings on candy hearts. Oh, and you know what I really love?  Scavenger hunts!  No shit!  Lead me around with cryptic little bedazzled love notes that you wrote in puffy paint until I finally find my gift...what's the gift you ask?  Why its that one thing that I've been talking about and since you listen to me, you remembered and got it for me.  Ahh...Valentine's Day...fuck it.

Let's be honest, fellow single gals - it's February 2nd.  It's highly unlikely we'll find a "Valentine" to torture in 12 days, and that's OK.  I say we create our own single girl "Secret Valentine"!  We'll pick names and fake romance the SHIT out of each other!  Who's with me?! (chirp, chirp).

Fingers crossed that Spiffy finds a luva sometime this year.  Just in case I find one in the next 12 days - I like dark chocolate, daisies, red wine, and oral sex. :)

Happy Valentine's Day!