OK, OK! I know it's been a while since I've written. I've had writers block, been really swamped with homework and, quite honestly, have been feeling like I'm sharing a little too much of my twisted brain.
Sometimes I feel naked and while that's great in the shower, during sexy time or at 2 a.m. Saturday on my deck, it's not a great feeling when you're trying to write. Now that I've told you my favorite times to be naked, it's time to share. Pull up a chair, won't you?
So we all know that I've been trying my hand at online dating for quite some time and that I haven't had much luck. Well, at the beginning of September I met a guy and I actually dug him. I could stand being around him for more than 10 minutes; I let him into my personal space on our first date (no, not my pants, sicko), and I wasn't annoyed by him. This was a big deal. Just ask my girlfriends who think I'm way too analytical and picky. :)
Well, what goes up, must come down, right? We finally hit the 30 day mark which, in my opinion, is "do or die" time. You either decide you want to date the person exclusively or you decide to move on. Now, I'll segue to what I will forever refer to as "the olive incident."
We decided we were going to chill out at my place and watch a couple of movies. One that he wanted me to see and one that I wanted him to see. I bought some beer (his favorite beer, mind you), rented the movies and I even bought him his favorite flavored fucking cupcake! (Deep breath. Move on.)
We discussed pizza and he told me that he didn't like olives. I ordered the pizza, but I was a little buzzed and mentally drained from the day and forgot to tell them to take the olives off the pizza. He reminded me of that fact when I got off the phone, so I apologized and told him we could just pick them off. Sounds reasonable to me, right? I LIKE OLIVES! (Deap breath. Move on.)
So when we got the pizza, I MANUALLY picked every fucking olive off of his three pieces of pizza. He was quiet while we ate except the one time he decided to break the silence and tell me I was bossy (What? You just figured that out??) and then to tell me that if it was me and I didn't like olives, he would have called them back and told them to take the olives off, but since I didn't do that, I was basically telling him to suck it up and deal with it. Hmmmm ....
As you can all tell, the evening did NOT end as I'd originally planned. At that point he told me he didn't feel the "spark" with me that he should and he still wanted to meet other women. I told him to leave, he left, end of story.
I was pretty hurt and pissed about it for a few days, but it's time to move on. I'm pretty sure he's not sitting around dwelling, so I refuse to let him take up space in my head and my heart without paying rent! Now I sound like Oprah. "YOU get olives and YOU get olives and YOU get olives!!! EVERYBODY GETS OLIVES!!!" (Only true Oprah fans will get that. Sorry...).
Regardless of the number of bad first dates or relationship sparks that fizzle, I still hold onto hope that there's someone out there who can handle all of my Spiffiness and who will meet at least 3 of my 4 major needs. :)
NEXT!
