Fair warning, this one is going to be long and deep (that's what he said ...). :/ But, seriously, I feel like disecting myself this morning and what better place to pull back the fatty layers than right here in front of my 10s of readers, huh?
I graduated from college after six LONG years of work on December 10, 2011. I jumped into 2012 with open arms and quickly got a great job in a field I'd always wanted to work in and started a relationship with an old friend who I thought would be around forever.
The job has been rough and rocky since day one, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? Although I seriously thought that it caused me to stroke out a few times. I do know that this job has contributed to my 2012 ass & waist expansion which is NO bueno! Today I resolve to do a better job of balancing my work and health.
The relationship lasted until July and suddenly ended, with little-to-no explanation. That one was rough to get over. I battled through a lot of hatred and waded around in a pity pool for so long that my fingers are still slightly pruned!
He still feels it necessary to send me random text messages like nothing ever happened. I knew I was finally over him and ready to move on when I could just delete the messages without responding. I have nothing left to say to him. Today I resolve to keep my heart open to the possibility of love and not let losers like him ruin me.
While I believe that getting my college degree was the best thing I could have ever done for myself, the student loan payments are really putting a cramp in my lifestyle. :) I had to find a cheaper place to live in October and ended up in this medium-sized white box. I am thankful that I only have to live here for another 10 months and will once again ramble on and find a new place to live. I'm surprised that my friends don't refer to me as a Nomad as much as I move around! Quite honestly, I hate moving and really want to find a permanent place to live. Today I resolve to make 2013 the year that I buy my own house. I'm finally going to commit to something! :)
I have always wanted to travel abroad and resolve to make it happen in 2013! I have an open invitation to visit some of my good friends who moved to Australia this year and it's time to take them up on their offer. Who knows, maybe I'll get there, meet the Aussie of my dreams, kiss my job good bye and spend the rest of my days down under! A girl can dream ...
I've lost touch with some important people in my life this past year, which makes me sad. I really don't believe that we were only friends based on our proximity (work), so I resolve to make a bigger effort to spend more time with them this year. I hope they make the same effort. :)
Remember the new guy I've been talking about and how I was nervous about asking him what our "status" was? Well, apparently I should have had the conversation sooner than the day before yesterday because when I asked, he told me that he is still dating other women and wants to "keep his options open." While I appreciate it his honesty, his answer was a HUGE bummer.
It seems to me that as a person in their 40's, we've have many years of options and that at this point we know what our options are. Maybe that's (one of the) differences between guys and girls: we know when something is good and they think the grass will always be greener.
During our conversation, he made a very insightful statement: relationships go one of two places (commitment or no where). Since he wasn't open to the possibility of our relationship going further, I decided that it was pointless to keep spinning my wheels and risk getting even more emotionally attached to him. Again, HUGE bummer. I really, really liked him.
So here it is. I have 365 days to make this an awesome year! No more regrets. No more "what ifs." I will not allow my job to define me. I will not allow the negativity of others to change what I know to be true about myself. I will not allow failed attempts to make me falter on my goals. I will make this year my bitch!
Happy New Year, friends. I have love for all of you!
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