It's Warm-Fuzzy Time ...

I had a much needed GNO last night which involved a couple of beers, a lot of people watching and some kick ass music!  

People watching is the best! I saw a couple of girls who were definitely going to end up bent over a bed later and/or bent over a toilet, depending on which came first. But, I digress ...

One of the girls I was out with I've known for years, but we'd never really been close. I really dig her, but I realized that I didn't know a lot about her. After our conversation last night, I vow to do a better job "knowing" my friends.

I found out that she, too, had lost her job in the past and had actually been out of work for a year and half. She understood what I was going through and gave me some great advice and encouraging words. There's something comforting in commiserating with people who've had the same experiences. It makes you feel like a little less of a loser and restores your hope that this will all work out for the best.

She suggested that I watch J.K. Rowling's Harvard commencement speech from 2008. She mentioned that the speech had a great message about finding the positive in failure and making the most out of what life dishes out. Because, let's face it, we all experience failures, some larger than others. We are defined not by our failures, but by how we bounce back and move on.

I'd like to share this with you all and hope that you'll take some time to watch it. Her message definitely touched me based on what I'm currently going through, but it's one that I feel should touch and inspire all of us in one way or another.

Peace and love, friends. And thanks, Debbie!

The Unemployment Chronicles - Membership has its Priviledges ...

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of being on unemployment, they apparently now require everyone to check-in in-person every four weeks. I completed my first check-in today and I have to say, I feel like I need a shower after that trip.

I went to a satellite office up by the airport, so it was a little less disgusting than I'm sure it would be a their main office, but no less humiliating.

You're required to complete a profile online and answer twelve "basic assessment" questions, I guess to make sure you're not a complete, unemployable dullard. Apparently I aced the math and missed one of the reading questions - seriously? It didn't really matter, but being the over achiever that I am, I almost asked her to re-take the assessment. Almost.

There was a guy ahead of me there for his check-in. He had to bring along his girlfriend to use the computer because he didn't know how to use a computer. I'm pretty sure she really didn't know how to use a computer, either, but her struggle was much less than his.

He stunk like cigarettes and bon fire and left his smell on the seat so that I could sit in it as I met with the nice lady running the office. She and I had a  laugh over how much he stunk and how dirty and nasty he was. She mentioned that his hands were covered in dirt and soot and that she "didn't know how that woman let him touch her." She said, "I'd tell him 'go wash your fuckin' hands'! Oh, Lord, forgive me!" Yes, she dropped the "F" bomb on my 4-week check in. We are now besties.

So, I'm officially a card carrying member of the Missouri Career Center Full Employment Council. Yes, they give you a card and call you a member. I'm framing this bitch when this is over, mark my words!

Happy Friday!

Pretty in Pink ... Isn't sheeee....

Yes, I'm still unemployed, but I've decided that I'm not going to dwell on it or write much about it tonight. I've had a couple of good interviews and the law of numbers tells me that something will fall into place soon (at least that's what I learned in my first sales position).

I am amazed at how relaxed I've felt lately. I seriously could get used to not working (as long as I had money, of course). I don't miss the stress and bullshit of the corporate world and am thinking seriously about getting out of it. One of the jobs I interviewed for would be out of the "hustle and bustle" and I hope they liked me enough to offer me the position. I think a change is in order.

I'm not naive enough to believe that I won't have stress at any job, but I promise I'll never again work for a company that considers it a sport to yell at and berate their employees. Mark my words.

So, onto the fun stuff. It's no secret that I dabble in the world of online dating from time to time. Well, to be honest, lately it's just been a lot of messages and no effort on the guy's part to actually meet me, so there has been more dabbling than "dating."

Truly, I don't know why I still do it because I seem to only meet people with commitment issues or admitted STDs. Those of you who know me know that I don't give up easily, so I think that it's become a sport to me to prove that busy NORMAL people actually can meet online. Well, I've had a new issue thrown at me - cross dressing.

I met "George" a few months ago (honestly, I don't remember his name). We chatted and started texting and playing Words with Friends. I was really busy getting ready to move, so we decided that we'd meet once I got settled. Well, once I got settled and was ready to meet, he decided that I lived too far away (whatever) so we quit talking.

He recently sent me a message but I couldn't figure out who it was from because his profile pic had changed (see the shock and horror below):

This would indicate to me that he takes cross dressing seriously. I mean look at the amount of eyeliner for fuck's sake! He's not fucking around! And the pink wig? I can only imagine the nipple shot if he'd decided to pan down ... ugh.

So, needless to say, I didn't respond to his message, nor have I asked him WHAT THE FUCK? I'm pretty open minded, but I don't want to date a guy who wears more makeup than me - PERIOD.

People, I swear, I don't make this shit up.

Peace out.

The Unemployment Chronicles - Saturday Motivation

It's Groundhog Day and yes, this day feels like I've lived it 1000 times, yet it's only 9:36 am. "...I got chu babe ...."

I am surprised that I haven't really freaked out about my "job situation" yet. In my heart, I believe that everything will work out and I'll find a good, fulfilling job. I'm not willing to just take whatever's thrown at me. It's important that I continue to further my career and not just settle. The pole isn't looking good ... yet. :)

I assume that I didn't get the job I'd interviewed for since I never heard back. I thought I'd at least get an e-mail letting me know they'd decided to go in a different direction, but I guess not. I know that I tried my best, followed up, sent reasons why they should hire me, etc. If none of that worked, it wasn't meant to be and obsessing over it won't change anything.

I was thinking this morning about all of the little things that I miss about having a job. Mostly it's the freedom of spending money knowing that I'll have more later. I miss little things like going to a coffee shop and buying a nice cup of coffee and going out to eat whenever I want (example: Mexican food. I would seriously blow a hobo for some Salsa Grill right about now ...).

I miss filling up my car vs. putting in a few gallons to get by until prices go back down. I miss meeting my friends out for a drink without feeling like a leech getting free drinks. I also miss using my brain. I miss having conversations with people, not just my dogs. I don't feel useful right now and that's a frustrating feeling.

Basically, I'm not very good at being idle. What is it they say about idle hands, that the "devil finds work" for them? Well bring it on Wicked One, I'm bored!  I'm kidding. I'll never get that bored.

(So that you guys understand the process behind my blog "magic," I literally just spent 5 minutes researching "idle hands" quotes and "satan nicknames." At least I wasn't looking for images this time. Oprah only knows what would have popped up!)

I did find a really good quote, though, from one of my faves, Buddah. "To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent." 

I believe that diligent is one of 5 good words that describe me well. (I'll let you all come up with the other 4, and bitch had better not be one of them!). There hasn't been anything thrown at me yet that's kept me down so watch me get back up and kick some serious ass!

Remember, "Success comes in cans; failure in can'ts." It's time for my CAN of whoop ass to be opened! OK, I think I've sufficiently motivated myself for now. Time for a shower.


 

The Unemployment Chronicles - blah blah blah

I've officially been unemployed for two weeks. I've grown into a steady routine of waking up, hitting the gym, then applying for jobs. I'm telling you, there are actually a lot of jobs out there that I'm qualified for and would likely enjoy, but it's a BITCH getting anyone to call you back! I've never had this much trouble getting someone's attention. Maybe I should flash my tits ... that always seems to work. I kid. :)

Remember that job interview I had a week and a half ago? I found out this morning that the decision maker has been sick, which is why I haven't heard about the job - YET. I received an e-mail from the HR lady letting me know I should hear by the end of the week. I'm still feeling pretty good about my chances - cross whatever you've got for good luck and send it my way!

Random thought: I saw a commercial tonight for a new dating site called "blackpeoplemeet.com." Seriously? Is it necessary to create a website specifically to encourage inter-racial dating? What if someone created "whitepeoplemeet.com"? Oh wait ... it does exist. It's called the KKK. (ba dum dum).

Don't get me wrong, I'm well versed in online dating and I know first hand that it is extremely difficult to meet people online with which we have any interest in, let alone much in common. But, there is something about the site that rubs me the wrong way. Oh well. Good luck to them!

(Note: I was trying to think of something witty and smart assed to say about a crush that I have on a hot black actor so I Googled images of "hot black guys" to help me with my writers block. Apparently the Interwebs felt that I was looking for hot "naked" black guys ...  Whoa.)

On that note, I'll leave you all to decide whether you want to Google and find out for yourselves. ;) Peace out.

The Unemployment Chronicles - one long weekend

Hey friends, it's Sunday! I'm telling you that so that I can keep track of what day it is, not because I think you're all lacking in access to a calendar.

I'm beginning to feel a little like Chuck in Castaway. I haven't yet started having conversations with balls (well, there was that guy this weekend ... I kid ...), but I do feel like I need to make a concerted effort to keep track of which day it is because they've begun to blur together. Boo hoo. Suck it up, Spiffy!

When I talk to my friends about my "present predicament," they all tell me, "It will be OK." I want to say, "How do you know? Do you have a direct line to Ms. Cleo?" I know that they all mean well, but it could end up being "not OK."

I mean seriously, I'm sure the majority of the homeless people we pass on the streets each day thought they would be OK, too. But, instead, they're wearing 2nd hand, K-Mart panties, using cigarette ashes for eyeliner and eating pork-n-beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I REFUSE TO WEAR K-MART PANTIES! 

Maybe my disdain for anything K-Mart or ash-related will be the spark I need make sure that everything is, in fact, OK. It's a weird, scary feeling to not know whether things will truly be "OK."

Out of the pity pool and onto the fun stuff, Debbie Downer! I had a really good weekend. I had some good laughs and drinks with my friends and caught up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years. He filled my head with stories of my high school debauchery that I don't remember, but that I don't doubt either. We had a lot of fun in high school, but I am thankful that I don't have a daughter like me. :)

Tomorrow is Monday and let's hope that it's HIRE DAY! Positive thoughts!

xoxo

The Unemployment Chronicles ... is it Friday yet?

Yes, it's Friday and no, I didn't hear about the job. DAMNIT!

Those of you who know me know that if I want something, I do my best to MAKE IT HAPPEN (case in point: Professor Dan). So, I sent an e-mail today to the lady who interviewed me asking for the job and giving her 5 reasons why she should hire me. I also sent an e-mail last Friday to one of the other ladies who interviewed me giving her some ideas about a chart she was creating. If these efforts don't work, I'm not meant to get this job!

I also decided to start paying it forward this morning with random acts of kindness. The surest way to feel good about life is to make others happy (that, and win the lottery, but I digress ...). I'm hoping it starts a boomerang effect in my life - we'll see!

I wrote a bunch of nice, encouraging notes and signed them "Paying it forward." I left a couple on cars in parking lots and stuck a couple into lockers at the gym. When I got back to my locker, someone who got my note decided to "pay it forward" with my note and gave it back to me. :) At least I inspired an act of kindness, huh? It's crazy, but I was freaked out that people were going to think I was vandalizing cars, so I didn't leave as many on cars as I'd planned to.

Random story that has nothing to do with anything: I was pulling into the gym yesterday morning and noticed a tall, scraggly looking guy walking out of HyVee carrying nothing but a box of Brillo pads. Normally, I wouldn't think twice about this, but when I was married to the crack head back in 90's I learned the hard way that Brillo pads are used to line crack pipes! Someone was gonna get weightless! Or, maybe he was going to "clean the brake lines" on the 4-wheeler like my ex-husband claimed he was doing ... whatever.

That's all I've got for now. Keep on keepin' on, friends. :)