The Unemployment Chronicles - Saturday Motivation

It's Groundhog Day and yes, this day feels like I've lived it 1000 times, yet it's only 9:36 am. "...I got chu babe ...."

I am surprised that I haven't really freaked out about my "job situation" yet. In my heart, I believe that everything will work out and I'll find a good, fulfilling job. I'm not willing to just take whatever's thrown at me. It's important that I continue to further my career and not just settle. The pole isn't looking good ... yet. :)

I assume that I didn't get the job I'd interviewed for since I never heard back. I thought I'd at least get an e-mail letting me know they'd decided to go in a different direction, but I guess not. I know that I tried my best, followed up, sent reasons why they should hire me, etc. If none of that worked, it wasn't meant to be and obsessing over it won't change anything.

I was thinking this morning about all of the little things that I miss about having a job. Mostly it's the freedom of spending money knowing that I'll have more later. I miss little things like going to a coffee shop and buying a nice cup of coffee and going out to eat whenever I want (example: Mexican food. I would seriously blow a hobo for some Salsa Grill right about now ...).

I miss filling up my car vs. putting in a few gallons to get by until prices go back down. I miss meeting my friends out for a drink without feeling like a leech getting free drinks. I also miss using my brain. I miss having conversations with people, not just my dogs. I don't feel useful right now and that's a frustrating feeling.

Basically, I'm not very good at being idle. What is it they say about idle hands, that the "devil finds work" for them? Well bring it on Wicked One, I'm bored!  I'm kidding. I'll never get that bored.

(So that you guys understand the process behind my blog "magic," I literally just spent 5 minutes researching "idle hands" quotes and "satan nicknames." At least I wasn't looking for images this time. Oprah only knows what would have popped up!)

I did find a really good quote, though, from one of my faves, Buddah. "To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent." 

I believe that diligent is one of 5 good words that describe me well. (I'll let you all come up with the other 4, and bitch had better not be one of them!). There hasn't been anything thrown at me yet that's kept me down so watch me get back up and kick some serious ass!

Remember, "Success comes in cans; failure in can'ts." It's time for my CAN of whoop ass to be opened! OK, I think I've sufficiently motivated myself for now. Time for a shower.


 

The Unemployment Chronicles - blah blah blah

I've officially been unemployed for two weeks. I've grown into a steady routine of waking up, hitting the gym, then applying for jobs. I'm telling you, there are actually a lot of jobs out there that I'm qualified for and would likely enjoy, but it's a BITCH getting anyone to call you back! I've never had this much trouble getting someone's attention. Maybe I should flash my tits ... that always seems to work. I kid. :)

Remember that job interview I had a week and a half ago? I found out this morning that the decision maker has been sick, which is why I haven't heard about the job - YET. I received an e-mail from the HR lady letting me know I should hear by the end of the week. I'm still feeling pretty good about my chances - cross whatever you've got for good luck and send it my way!

Random thought: I saw a commercial tonight for a new dating site called "blackpeoplemeet.com." Seriously? Is it necessary to create a website specifically to encourage inter-racial dating? What if someone created "whitepeoplemeet.com"? Oh wait ... it does exist. It's called the KKK. (ba dum dum).

Don't get me wrong, I'm well versed in online dating and I know first hand that it is extremely difficult to meet people online with which we have any interest in, let alone much in common. But, there is something about the site that rubs me the wrong way. Oh well. Good luck to them!

(Note: I was trying to think of something witty and smart assed to say about a crush that I have on a hot black actor so I Googled images of "hot black guys" to help me with my writers block. Apparently the Interwebs felt that I was looking for hot "naked" black guys ...  Whoa.)

On that note, I'll leave you all to decide whether you want to Google and find out for yourselves. ;) Peace out.

The Unemployment Chronicles - one long weekend

Hey friends, it's Sunday! I'm telling you that so that I can keep track of what day it is, not because I think you're all lacking in access to a calendar.

I'm beginning to feel a little like Chuck in Castaway. I haven't yet started having conversations with balls (well, there was that guy this weekend ... I kid ...), but I do feel like I need to make a concerted effort to keep track of which day it is because they've begun to blur together. Boo hoo. Suck it up, Spiffy!

When I talk to my friends about my "present predicament," they all tell me, "It will be OK." I want to say, "How do you know? Do you have a direct line to Ms. Cleo?" I know that they all mean well, but it could end up being "not OK."

I mean seriously, I'm sure the majority of the homeless people we pass on the streets each day thought they would be OK, too. But, instead, they're wearing 2nd hand, K-Mart panties, using cigarette ashes for eyeliner and eating pork-n-beans for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I REFUSE TO WEAR K-MART PANTIES! 

Maybe my disdain for anything K-Mart or ash-related will be the spark I need make sure that everything is, in fact, OK. It's a weird, scary feeling to not know whether things will truly be "OK."

Out of the pity pool and onto the fun stuff, Debbie Downer! I had a really good weekend. I had some good laughs and drinks with my friends and caught up with an old friend who I haven't seen in years. He filled my head with stories of my high school debauchery that I don't remember, but that I don't doubt either. We had a lot of fun in high school, but I am thankful that I don't have a daughter like me. :)

Tomorrow is Monday and let's hope that it's HIRE DAY! Positive thoughts!

xoxo

The Unemployment Chronicles ... is it Friday yet?

Yes, it's Friday and no, I didn't hear about the job. DAMNIT!

Those of you who know me know that if I want something, I do my best to MAKE IT HAPPEN (case in point: Professor Dan). So, I sent an e-mail today to the lady who interviewed me asking for the job and giving her 5 reasons why she should hire me. I also sent an e-mail last Friday to one of the other ladies who interviewed me giving her some ideas about a chart she was creating. If these efforts don't work, I'm not meant to get this job!

I also decided to start paying it forward this morning with random acts of kindness. The surest way to feel good about life is to make others happy (that, and win the lottery, but I digress ...). I'm hoping it starts a boomerang effect in my life - we'll see!

I wrote a bunch of nice, encouraging notes and signed them "Paying it forward." I left a couple on cars in parking lots and stuck a couple into lockers at the gym. When I got back to my locker, someone who got my note decided to "pay it forward" with my note and gave it back to me. :) At least I inspired an act of kindness, huh? It's crazy, but I was freaked out that people were going to think I was vandalizing cars, so I didn't leave as many on cars as I'd planned to.

Random story that has nothing to do with anything: I was pulling into the gym yesterday morning and noticed a tall, scraggly looking guy walking out of HyVee carrying nothing but a box of Brillo pads. Normally, I wouldn't think twice about this, but when I was married to the crack head back in 90's I learned the hard way that Brillo pads are used to line crack pipes! Someone was gonna get weightless! Or, maybe he was going to "clean the brake lines" on the 4-wheeler like my ex-husband claimed he was doing ... whatever.

That's all I've got for now. Keep on keepin' on, friends. :)

The Unemployment Chronicles ... the days are all blurring together

It's only been a little over a week, but I'm already bored to death and ready to go back to work. I think I could handle being independently wealthy and not NEEDING to work, but being independently broke and NEEDING to work is for the birds!

I am spending WAY too much time with my dogs. While I love them, I can't handle the constant staring and willing me to play with them. On a positive note, they aren't waking me up at 7:30 for no reason, so I've got that going for me.

I have made it a point to hit the gym each day and I feel good about that.  There are a lot of old people and younger guys at the gym during the day. Go figure! Maybe I should scope out a Sugar Daddy, huh? Nah.

I've become hooked on The Ellen Show and am now obsessing over visiting the show. Also, she's giving away a trip to Australia, so I seriously submitted my story as to why I should win a trip. I've become a prize pig.

Moving on to the job hunt, I haven't heard from the job that I interviewed for last week - yet. They told me that I should hear something by the end of the week, so I'm holding onto hope that I'll get news tomorrow.  I wasn't sweating it last week, but I'm officially sweating like a pig over it this week. I am still asking for all of your positive thoughts and, if you feel like sending them to me, your prayers. We all have our own higher power that we look to, so call in a favor for me, would ya??

So, worst case scenario, let's say this job opportunity falls through. I've got my resume out to many other places and I'll keep on keepin' on, but I have to tell you, I may freak out for a few minutes. 

I have made a promise to myself that if I get this job, I'm immediately applying for my passport and I'm going to take a trip out of the country. I keep talking about it, but life is too short not to DO IT!

I had lunch with an old friend of mine yesterday and told him that I believed the universe was trying to tell me something. I knew that I wasn't happy at that job and I've always felt like I was meant for more than what I was doing. I'm just having a hard time figuring out what I'm meant to do. I'm looking for signs!

I've always thought it would be cool to live somewhere else, so maybe I'm meant to relocate? I really enjoyed visiting the Bahamas on my cruise, maybe I'm meant to braid hair on the island, huh? I have been practicing my fish-tail braiding skills ...

One thing is for sure, once I get my feet back under me, I'm paying back and paying forward all of the kindness I've received from my friends. Thank you all so much for the job suggestions, free lunches, free drinks and shoulders to cry on. I love and appreciate you all!

The Unemployment Chronicles - Dia' Tres

I thought I'd add a little "international flair" to the title for all of my bilingual friends. You're welcome.

So, once again, today was a good day. I haven't hit the panic wall yet and I'm working hard to focus on the positives.

Unfortunately, I'm walking around like a fucking pirate with a peg leg because I jacked up my knee doing YOGA on Tuesday. I can barely bend it and can't put any pressure on it which, as my bestie Jen pointed out, will put a HUGE cramp in my social life ... if you know what I mean. You know, because I SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON MY KNEES! Gotta love my girl, Jen. Always knows how to make me feel special. :) xoxo

I'm not going to chronicle the hours today, just give you a broad overview of the events. Nothing new in the morning, but I had a two and a half hour interview in the afternoon!

I'm super pumped about this company! I found the position on LinkedIn and had sent in my resume about a month ago. They called me last week and sat up a phone interview for, coincidentally enough, the day I got axed.  Perfect timing if I do say so myself!

I met with three people, the woman who would be my boss, a manager of a department I would work with closely and the VP. I loved the atmosphere and the "feel" of the place and everyone I met was very nice.

They put me through the usual gamut of questions: what are your strengths and weaknesses, what did you like most and least about your jobs/supervisors/duties, why did you leave, etc. Like I usually do when I'm nervous about a situation, I channeled my "inner Oprah" and rocked their socks off! I almost wanted to jump up on the chair and start shouting "You get Kelly, and YOU get Kelly and hey, guess what YOU GET KELLY TOO!" Thankfully, I shook that urge off and kept it cool.

Before I left, they told me that they really liked me and that they had a couple more people to meet with early next week, but I should hear something no later than next Friday. While it was a grueling interview, they know how to knock it out in one shot!

Please send your positive thoughts my way, I really want this to work out. Mama wouldn't look good holding a sign on a street corner ...

The Unemployment Chronicles - Day Two

In the words of the one and only Ice Cube, today was a good day. My chronicles aren't going to be that exciting, but I think it's necessary to dispel the assumption that I lead some kind of outrageous, wild and crazy single life.

8:00 am: Time to pee. Check WWF to see if Jeremy is catching up to me (not yet). Fall back asleep.

9:00 am: I finally drag my ass out of bed. All of you early risers - SUCK IT!

9:15 am: I feed the dogs, throw on some sweatpants, throw my hair up in a pony and take the dogs outside. I pick up two piles of poo because Zoie decides it's a double-deuce morning.  Asia spends her time sniffing out rabbits.

9:25 am: I discover that Asia waited to poo until she came back inside. I clean up more poo. Sonofabitch.

9:30 am: I applied for deferment on my student loans. I feel a little like a loser, but whatever. They'll have my money for the rest of my fucking life. Taking a couple of months off isn't going to change anything!

10:00 am: Shower. Curl hair, put on make up. I will not lay around and look like a slob just because I could be homeless in 30 days!

11:00 am: I eat a bowl of cereal and a cutie.  Cuties are for kids! Whatever.

11:30 am: I head to America's Contacts and Eyeglasses to pick up my prescription so that I can order contacts before my insurance expires. The rude chick gives me my prescription. I wanted to tell her that I could have her job, but I realized that I really don't want her job.

12:00 pm: After fighting with my phone GPS for 15 minutes, I inadvertently run into the JcPenney and realize they accept my VSP. After speaking with the nice lady, it turns out they won't accept my ACE prescription after all, so I make an appointment to start all over again.

In the meantime, I check my e-mail and see that I've been invited to an interview tomorrow afternoon!  I do a quick happy dance and head out.

12:30 pm: I stop by the Walmarts and pick up some necessities, including toilet paper. Providing I have no heavy ass-wiping company over in the next 30 days, I should be stocked.

1:00 pm: I come home, eat a quick, healthy lunch and start working on the "Career History" form that they want me to send to them. I work on it until 3:00, then head out for my eye exam.

3:30 pm: Have the longest eye exam with the nicest lady I've ever met. I left with a nice, new pair of contacts and 6-months worth being shipped to me. Got it all for $35.  Yeah for VSP!

5:05 pm: Get home, feed the hounds again, blah, blah, pick up poo, blah blah.

6:00 pm: Eat dinner and work on finishing the career form. After about two hours and what I believe is sheer perfection, I realized that I'd never saved the fucker to my actual computer, it's out there in temporary file land. Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until I'd closed the document. 

8:30 pm: I start all over on the career history form from HELL!

10:45 pm: I finish the fucking form and send it off.  I've also finished off at least 3 glasses of wine by now and hope that I didn't get too loosey-goosey in my answers...

Tomorrow is a big day for me!  I have to be charming, interesting and intelligent. Oh wait ... I'm all of those things already. ;) 

Trying to stay positive, people ... with any luck, I'll have a job before my first unemployment check arrives! Fingers crossed for me!