Melancholy and infinite...happiness??

I'm feeling a little melancholy tonight.  This weekend marks the end of my eight year stint in good ole' JoCo Kansas.  Or what I like to refer to as the "not-so-salad-years." 

While I'm ready to move, it's always hard for me to say good bye.  I moved to Kansas in 2003 when my ex-husband and I decided to buy a house.  I've always been a Missouri girl and reluctantly agreed to move to JoCo.  Truth be told, it was what he wanted and I wanted to make him happy, so I agreed.

When we got divorced a mere three-ish years later, I was too worn out to fight the battle of changing states: new drivers license, new tags, blah, blah, blah.  So I didn't fight the battle; I just stayed in Kansas.

I moved to my current location in 2007 and told myself I wasn't going to move again until I "met the man of my dreams and decided to build a life with him." (Oh Spiffy...you're such a sappy, hopeless, romantic...bleh.)

Obviously, that never happened, so I thought, "What the hell.  Move back to Missouri, Spiffy!"  So off I went, in search of the perfect place for me to build my OWN salad years and I found and instantly fell in love with my new apartment. (Of course I fell in love with an apartment...because it can't love me back, crush my heart and leave me.  But that's another blog...).

Here's the kicker - I have had a nervous feeling, like a hole in my stomach, ever since I decided to move into this apartment.  Confession time - I'm afraid that something will happen, I'll finally get canned and I won't have the money to pay my rent. I'll get kicked out on the street, have to give away my dogs, sell my stuff, and feed myself on cans of Spaghetti Ohs and Ramen Noodles.  Classic dramatic, over-analytic, worry-wort Spiffy.

Now here's where strong-willed, independent, even-keeled Spiffy retorts with, "You'll be fine! You've always bounced back from anything that life has thrown at you.  You are smart, driven, ambitious, and every other positive adjective you can think of, Spiff.  Put on your big-girl panties and suck it up! Plus, Spaghetti Ohs and Ramen Noodles are nothing but carbs and sodium.  You'll be a homeless, fat cow!" 

Alright, no more second guessing my choices! I'm packed and the movers will be here at 8am on Sunday.  I'll feel better once I get unpacked and organized.  Anal retentive Spiffy hates the clutter of boxes!  

So, I bid you adieu, Kansas.  The good times have outweighed the bad times, but it's time for this Missouri girl to head back home. 

"And you know you're never sure. But you're sure you could be right, if you held yourself up to the light..."  That Billy Corgan sure knows how to write lyrics, huh?

Believe...believe in me...