Spiffy's Dating Stories - Angry Beer-Gut Dude

I mentioned this a couple of posts ago; I recently decided to trek into the world of online dating.  Unfortunately, the ease of meeting someone online is losing more of its lustre as days go by. 

I told you the story of date #2 - "Bad Dental Work Dude."  His partial didn't touch the top of his gums, leaving a gaping hole for food and spit to escape through.  Bleh.

I was going to leave this guy out of the Wrath of Spiffy, but he's succeeded in pissing me off, so I'm taking off the gloves. This post will focus around date #1 - or as I will forever know him - "Angry Beer-Gut Dude." 

This is the only guy who I didn't meet through Match. He is a friend of a friend and we actually have a lot of friends in common.  When I met him, he was sitting behind a table at a bar. (I put that fact here for a reason...keep reading...). 

We chatted and, as it turns out, he's friends with my ex-husband and his whore wife.  At first that freaked me out a little, but I thought he was cool and that we'd get along since we seemed to have a lot in common. I overlooked the possible future awkwardness of the two of us running into my ex and the whore at a barbeque where we had to make small-talk about the weather or something else equally insignificant.  I figured I'd cross that bridge when we got there, hypothetically speaking, of course.

Fast-forward. We talk, we decide to meet for a drink.  The day of said meeting, he offers to pick me up and pay for a cab to take me back home so I wouldn't have to worry about drinking and driving.  I was instantly impressed at his chivalry.  NO ONE has ever offered to do something like that for me, so he had immediate bonus points.  I warned him that it would likely be a pricey ride, but he told me not to worry about it. Come to find out, he has a cabby on his speed dial because of his two previous DUI's and loss of a license.  At least he learned his lesson; I'll give him that.

I don't want to cut him down at the knees, so I won't go into a lot of details, but I will say this; I didn't think the date went well.  I felt that I had to carry a lot of the conversation and that I did nothing but talk to fill nervous space. 

And, if I'm being honest, I wasn't attracted to him.  I thought I would be and hoped I would be, but when I saw him standing, I noticed his large, bulbous, beer-gut.  I've said this a thousand times and I'll say it again; I'm no goddess, and I've got some hail damage on the ole' thighs and buns among other issues, but I do try to take care of myself. An obvious, flabby, beer gut shows no effort to take care of oneself and is just unattractive - period.  Trying to imagine him thrusting his man parts into my girly bits made me throw up in my mouth a little.  And, lets face it - you date because you want someone to thrust their man parts into your girly bits!

Let me clarify something important -it's not all about physique.  I'm attracted to some odd things (Professor Dan and Cee-Lo Greene -neither with outstanding physiques), so I can't say that it was only his bulbous beer belly that turned me off.  Something just wasn't there for me - period.

With that being said, by the end of the night I was pretty sure he wasn't into me either.  He didn't talk much, drank A LOT, and didn't really seem interested.  He gave me cab fare, I went home and assumed that would be the end of it.

A couple of days later, to my shock and amazement, he asked me out again.  Then, I was bewildered.  I've always told myself to give it at least two dates.  Maybe we'd be less nervous and I would focus less on his belly. I didn't feel it was fair to pretend to feel something that I didn't feel and hope that I suddenly felt it, so I said no.

Now I don't know about you, but I've been shot down and rejected A LOT.  You learn to just deal with it an move on.  No need to dwell or fret. It's their loss, right?  Well apparently this douche bag is pissed at me for not being interested and has been talking some kind of trash about how I drink too much and how I was a waste of his money.   Hey, Dick Head...FUCK OFF!

There are positive points and negative points about going out with people who know people you know.  Positive - there are less walls to break through because they've proven themselves to the people you trust.  Negative - they talk shit to your mutual friends and your mutual friends get stuck in the middle.  In the case of my friends, they pass along the juicy tidbits. :)

So, I say to you Angry Beer-Gut Dude - get the fuck over it and move on. We met once for drinks.  You offered to pay.  You offered to buy me a cab.  I never made any promises and neither did you.  We're both adults, so act like it. I do not want, nor do I need the drama.  NEXT!