And the saga continues...

Last night I shared with you the love and warm-fuzziness I'm feeling from Mr. Angry Beer-Gut Dude. Leave it to Spiffy to piss some guy off to the point of spewing verbal bars after simply meeting for a few beers.  Oh well. Fuck it.

Tonight, I'll share with you the tantalizing and (anti)climactic, yet true story of 'Mr. Lie About My Endname', or Mr. LAME. (I know...it was a stretch but it's the only way I could make the word 'lame' out of it...)

I met Mr. LAME a couple of weeks ago on Match.  We got to know each other over Mexican food (my favorite way to get to know someone) and hit it off.  You've probably figured this out about me while reading through my mind-candy; I have a hard time trusting or even liking people.  Most of the time I think people are stupid.  If I'm being honest.

Well, I liked Mr. LAME.  He didn't set off any red flags; wasn't too nice, wasn't too much of a douche, wasn't too cocky, wasn't too clingly.  He seemed cool and laid back...but then again, so did Jeffrey Dahmer. (Probably, I'm not sure.  I never met the guy, but I bet he knew how to keep it cool right up to the time he ate his victims...).

I asked for LAME's last name, and he gave one to me.  Turns out, it wasn't actually his last name.  I found this out while conducting my usual background search on potential dates.  Or Google search. 

He gave me a few key pieces of information that allowed me to search and find out his real last name.  I verified the real information when I found his FB and My Space page (yes...My Space does still exist). 

While pondering why someone would lie about their last name, one of my super-sleuth girlfriends suggested I run his name through CaseNet, so I did.  Thinking I would find nothing, imagine the shock and disbelief I felt when a rap sheet two-pages long popped up on the screen.

This man had several charges of stalking and domestic abuse, a paternity case, a few traffic cases.  Now I know why he lied about his last name...

Thankfully, he hasn't contacted me in a few days, and not since I found all of this out.  I wasn't sure how I was going to bring it up, but I think he's decided to cut and run instead of trying to stick around and spin a bigger web of deceit. 

Online dating sucks.  You never know who you'll meet and the ones who seem the coolest are (apparently) the biggest liars of all. Lucky for me, the experience provides me with tasty bits of goodness to blog about!

Be careful out there!