Is there anybody out there???

I have a confession.  Not like the Red Shoe Diaries or whatever that show was, but maybe just as scandalous...I've decided to join Match.com. 

Yes, Spiffy has decided that the "traditional" means of meeting guys (work, friends, gym, random spontaneous manifestation of Bachelor contestants) hasn't been working.  Possibilities will present themselves, then something will happen that changes everything.  Great guy, but he lives in another state.  Nice guy, but he'd rather play head-games.  Nice guy, but I'm not attracted to him.  You name it, I've experienced it. 

I have tried online dating before and met one cool guy.  We dated for about a month, and that was it.  I don't know what in the hell possessed me to try it again, especially not right now when I've got so many other things going on in my life.  Actually, I think it was the picture of the hot guy who allegedly emailed me.  I couldn't read the email unless I joined and apparently I was feeling weak and horny at the moment...

There is a lot of stigma surrounding online dating.  Only desperate, lonely, losers meet people online.  You know, those people who have a closet full of skin suits and a credit card full of online porn charges?  Well, I'm not one of those people. I mean, my suits are natural fiber and who needs porn with a mind like mine!? I'd like to think that I could meet someone just as (almost) normal as I am.  Maybe??

Allow me to share the experience of my first Match.com date with you and let you be the judge.  Enter Dave. I liked his profile pics and his profile was fairly well written.  We met for brunch and as soon as I shook his hand I got the heebie-jeebies. He looked at me like I was a piece of meat, and then he smiled (insert suspenseful music segue).  

Sometime during his 40+ years he had his four front teeth knocked out of his head.  Apparently he had his dental work completed at "Dentists-R-Us" because there was a big gap between his top gums, and the top of his fake front teeth.  I spent the entire brunch staring into his mouth through the tooth gap, praying that the teeth didn't fall out into his Belgian waffle.

It was so disturbing and disgusting.  I tried so hard to look him in the face but I couldn't stop staring!  Top that with the fact that he had the personality of a paper plate, I was in and out in 55 minutes flat.

Spiffy is no quitter, so I'm going to stick with it and see what happens.  Open mind, open heart, open to possibilities.  In the meantime, if you know any hot guys... :)