You stuck what where??

I had lunch with a good friend of mine today and during our always enlightening conversation, he told me a story about a friend of a friend. I have decided to share that story with you, because it was that disgusting and outrageous. And as you can tell by previous posts, I'm all about sharing disgusting, outrageous stories! 

Before I begin the story, I'd like you to take a moment, stop and ask yourself, "Self, what could I realistically stick up my own ass and feel OK about it?" Now that I've burned that picture into your brain, allow me to begin. 

This friend of a friend, or "FOAF," and the the guy she's currently dating decided to stop by their local Walmart on the way home from who knows where, probably Chili's where they loaded up on chili cheese taters or something.  

While in Walmart, they thought it would be a good idea to pick up a dog collar.  I should mention that I don't believe they have a dog.  Now the details of the actual dog collar are fuzzy.  It was either a collar or a chain lead, but either way - it was meant FOR A FUCKING DOG!

When they got home from Walmart and got all lubed up and ready to fornicate, they decided to each stick an end of the dog collar up their own ass while having sex.  I'm not sure who got the buckle end...ugh...(shiver), but the entire situation gives me the heebie jeebies and makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

So, here's what I find wrong with this scenario:  1) Even if they did sell sex toys at Walmart, have you seen the fucking people who shop at Walmart? If you're that much of a freak (and kudos to you both by the way), you should have a line of credit at Cirillas or whatever it's called nowadays.  2) They do make real sex toys that you can simultaneously stick up each other's asses, like anal beads, geniuses!

Kudos to them for improvising, I guess, but geez...a dog collar?? There are a few things I'd consider sticking up my own ass.  A dog collar - not one of them. 

I'll let you all imagine your own ass forging.  Ruff!