Tonight I've decided to talk about something guys love and girls should probably love a little more - blow jobs.
Yes, tonight's blog is dedicated to mouth lovin', knob slobbin', head, BJs, felatio, hummers, Lewinskis, playin' the skin flute, smokin' pole...you get the picture.
As a girl, I know my opinion on the subject - you give, you get. How long you get depends on a few things, like are you trying to slowly push my head down or arrange your genitals to be in the general vacinity of my face? Sorry, you may get bitten. (All male readers suddenly went from a semi-chubby thinking about a BJ to complete flacidity thinking about being bitten. Yes, I made up the word "flacidity." :)
I thought I'd ask one of my guy friends his opinion on mouth lovin'. Granted, this particular friend has issues expressing his emotions and actually emotionally connecting to a woman, but he's a good guy and an avid fan of Spiffy. He's kind of the male version of Spiffy. He's who I would be in an alternate universe if I turned into a dude. Well, kind of. :)
Anyway...moving on. My question to "Alternate Universe Spiffy," or AUS, was whether he found it sexy when a girl looked up at him while she was giving him the business or if he'd rather just look at the top of her head?
I'm really not sure why I even asked him that question because I knew the answer and he didn't disappoint me. AUS said, and I quote, "I don't spend my time staring but when I do look down, eye contact is normally just strange and leads to everyone making fake porno faces...which can on occasion damper the moment." He went on to close his sexist statement by saying, "A good blow jobber needs to get to work. Looking up seems needy and can sometimes be pathetic. Concentrate on what's important - my junk."
Ah...gotta love AUS...makes me want to give a thousand hummers to guys just like him! :) xoxo
Another good guy friend of mine once told me that there isn't anything better than a "good old, sloppy BJ." The term just puts visions of spit-laden pubic hair and a large wet spot on the bed. Neither of which are sexy thoughts. But then again...I'm not a dude!
So what is it about BJs that guys love so much? Is it that they don't actually have to look at who is pleasuring them? That they can get lost in the fantasy of the moment? Or is it a control issue? Or maybe, JUST MAYBE, I'm overanalyzing the entire thought process and it really is just because it feels good? I mean, come on. I'm never one to over analyze...
Girls, what are your thoughts? Guys, care to share your opinions?
I'm a little scared about the feedback I'll get on this blog, but I promised AUS I'd offer a "male Spiffy" perspective on something and this is what I came up with.
At least I didn't ask your opinion of the shocker...
Two words: blindfold.
ReplyDeleteUm, Anonymous...blindfold is one word. Either give me another word or use your fingers next time. :)
ReplyDeleteI've got your fingers.. two for the pink and one for the stink!
ReplyDeleteOh, snap! You know it's a good day when there are at least two references to the Shocker in random conversation. :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe they like them because they can't give them to themselves. Unless of course you have ribs removed.
ReplyDeleteAs an unbiased observer, if the “giver” enjoys her duties, it is truly reflected in her work. The same goes for the guys going south on his lady I’m sure. To answer your question posed, it really depends on the situation if the giver makes eye contact while giving head. There are multiple levels of sex but let’s simplify it by saying there is animalistic skin-slapping-skin sex and then there is the more sensual side of sex. It’s not always the sound of balls bouncing off ass. From personal experience, I have had girls give me great head from both aspects. One girl that gave me great head never once looked at me while performing while we dated (unless it was for a photo op). She was too busy trying to suck the chrome off of a car bumper. But then there have also been times where there has been full eye contact, almost as if they were seducing with their eyes while blowing me (porno face??). Regardless, it was hot. Both versions were great and I wouldn’t rate either one better than the other, just different. Kind of like asking if you want a Corona or a Blvd Wheat. Depends on the circumstances. As long as you don’t have that look in your eyes as if you were being prison raped (like my first girlfriend), I was cool with eye contact. To give her credit, she did better as she became more comfortable with her sexuality as time went on (after all, we were both virgins). I don’t think that one opinion for someone replying to your blog and one from an emotionally unavailable (probably a good reason why he doesn’t like eye contact) plutonic friend will lead you to the correct answer if that is indeed what you are seeking so I would suggest a larger sample size for your purely scientific inquiry. I highly suggest including Chaz Bono in you inquisition. She should be able to give you a point of view from both aspects, giver and receiver. Being one who has actually received multiple oral pleasures from Spiffy (albeit years upon years ago), I don’t think you have anything to worry about as you were highly interested in the job at hand (and/or mouth, if you will).
ReplyDeleteFocker out.
"Anonymous," I posted your comment because I can't figure out who you are and it's driving me batty! :) I've been going through my checklist of former "lovers" from "years upon years" ago and I must be honest, I'm stumped. I can't figure out who I may have "pleasured" who was as well spoken and communicated as you. :) Show yourself!! (please...)
ReplyDeleteDear Mr. A -
ReplyDeleteTo prove that I actually am a private person and in hopes that you'll put me out of my misery and just tell me who you are; I'm not going to post your last comment. I promise, I will not put your name "all over Al Gore's internet."
For reasons I'm not sure, my memory SUCKS. I'm not saying I have a lot of men to sift through in my memory, I'm just having a hard time narrowing down the time frame. I think I know who you are, but I'm not sure and I'm not going to start spouting names out on my blog. That would make me look like a whore! :)
Plus, I only post on FB and Twitter and I don't think you're one of my "friends or followers," so I'm not sure how you would find my blog otherwise. Call me crazy, I assume no one really reads this thing. :)
So, pretty please with sugar on top, send me another comment and tell me who you are. Or, if you are FB friend, message me. PLEASE??
Thank you.
Signed,
I can't remember what I wore yesterday ...
"Mr. A," or should I say Mr. H. ;) You were the person I was thinking of, but I have no clue how you found my blog. That's why I was stymied. ;)
ReplyDeleteShoot me an email so we can catch up. I'm not conversing via comments anymore!!
Spiffychic3@gmail.com. Hee hee!