This Girl is on FIRE!

It's official. I'm no longer suckling off of the government teat. I got a job! Not just any job, mind you. I'm going back into radio ad sales, where my heart and passion lies.

I have always been a music junky and have always wanted to work in radio or around music. In fact, I went to the Columbia School of Broadcasting back in the early 90's because I thought that's what every DJ did ... I was naive. :)

The $3k I spent on my schooling wasn't a complete waste. I learned how to enunciate and how to properly pronounce "Moscow." (It's MOS CO, not MOS COW.) Now you know. 

Fast forward to October, 2001, when my journey into radio began. Imagine: Spiffy is sitting at her desk, working as an insurance agent for AAA. It's early in the morning and Spiffy is simply miffed. She hates her job and wants something more. She's listening to her favorite radio station at the time - E105. The Joe Show (morning show at the time) was giving away a trip to New York City to promote tourism after 9-11. Spiffy enters the contest by sending an e-mail to the DJ. She tells the DJ how she's always been a big fan of Hair Metal music, yadda yadda, wit and charm, and that she'd love to win the trip.

Later that afternoon, Spiffy gets a call from Joe who told her that he LOVED her e-mail, thought she was super funny and offered her a free trip for two to New York City for a week! Spiffy jumped on the chance and took a trip that literally changed her life. 

I'll go back into first person now. Third person is so pretentious. :) While on this trip, I met so many people who would impact my life. I met my ex-husband, who was the promotions guy for the station. I met my good friend, Elaine, who helped talk me into going back to radio. I met my former boss, friend and now co-worker, Janel, who also helped talk me into going back to radio. The list goes on. This trip was pivotal for me and led me to my first venture into radio sales with E105/Jack FM.

I spent 3 1/2 years working in a field that I loved, but somewhere along the way I let the grind get the best of me and I lost my spark. I was a much different person back then and, quite honestly, I didn't have as much confidence in myself as I do today. Radio sales is a tough business. If it were easy, everyone would do it because it is fun and can be very profitable. 

I've been struggling for the past 5 months, wondering why no one felt I was the right fit for their company and the position. I now believe that I received all of those rejections because the universe was pushing me to return to radio. It took me a minute to receive the message, but it finally sunk in and now I feel at peace. 

I know that it's going to be rough and that there will be some days that I'll just want to say fuck it and walk away, but I won't. While being unemployed for five months sucked, it taught me a huge lesson about myself: I'm stronger than I thought, I'm more resilient than I could ever imagine and the haters will continue to hate, I just have to continue to be better than them. I am in charge of my own destiny and the negative words and thoughts of others are their burden to bear, not mine.

These past few months I've received support from people who I'd never imagine would care, but they did. I'll do my best to repay them all in one way or another and I'll continue to pay it forward. I've always known, but believe even more now that positive actions bring about positive consequences. 

So, I'll spend my last week of "vacation" relaxing, visiting with my friends and family and learning how to wake up before 7:30 am again. Come July 1st, watch out because this girl is ON FIRE! :)

Superheroine or sucker??

Do you want to know how to spoil a Saturday? Well let me tell you!

Wake up after a much needed night of deep, peaceful rest, check your e-mail and read another rejection letter. It was very nice and wishes me "luck on my endeavors" just like every other good rejection, but still. Why send it on a Saturday morning? 

I went back through my calendar and confirmed that I've had 9 in person interviews and 8 rejections. I just interviewed with the 9th yesterday, so here's holding onto hope that I'll finally get that elusive second interview! It's like I'm Elmer Fudd hunting wascilly wabbits or something!

I do have another interview on Tuesday with a REALLY great, solid company. Unfortunately it's a two-hour, four person interview, so yeah ... there's that to deal with ... 

I'll pull out an oldie but goody cliche: what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? If that's the case, I'm like the SHE HULK right now! With each rejection I've received, more strength (and mistrust) develops. This She Hulk character is almost a perfect depiction of me. Just imagine she has red hair, a chubbier waist and her confidence is lying in a puddle around her feet ...

"You don't want to frustrate me ... you wouldn't like me when I'm frustrated ..."

Holla!

Happy Friday, friends! Hey, did you realize that EVERY day is Friday when you're unemployed?!  Remember that when you're posting "Whoo hoo! It's Friday!" messages on Facebook.  If you love Friday that much, you could have it every day, like me!! :)

I've officially been unemployed for three months. It's crazy to me because I've been working since I was 15 and the only time I haven't worked was that semester I went away to CMSU. Go Mules!

Ah, the salad days ... Wednesday night happy hours at the Mule Skinner led to Thursday morning hangovers in Mass Communication class; locking myself in my dorm room to stay away from the East St. Louis bitches who were threatening to throw me and my roommate out our window; hooking up with some guy at a frat party - all while making the honor roll. Gotta love college life! (SCREECH!) Back to reality ...

Being unemployed puts your life in perspective, for sure. I realize how much emphasis I've put on my education and career. I've defined myself by my job title and in the scheme of life, my title means nothing. I'm still soul searching to figure out what's REALLY important to me. I'll let you know when I get closer to figuring it out. :)

To catch you all up, I've had 16 interviews, either in person or over the phone. 16!  How can anyone bomb that many interviews?!  What. The. Fuck!? OK, to give myself credit, I didn't bomb all of them. Some of them I didn't want, others I'm really not sure what happened and others I'm still hoping to hear back. 

I've learned throughout this process that you can't trust what people tell you. I've been told that the next process was a second interview to then find out that they hired someone right after me (this happened twice). I've been asked to interview and then had the interview canceled on me less than 24 hours later. I've been told that they will make a decision in two weeks to find out that they still haven't made a decision a month later. Mostly, I've been ignored. People are rude. 

To make this process more exciting, I think I'm going to start a drinking game. Each time someone asks to speak with me, I drink. Each time someone asks to interview me, two drinks. Each time I actually interview, three drinks. If I ever get called back for a second interview, that bottle is gone!  Once I get a job offer, drinks on me for everyone!  OK, maybe that's a stretch, but it sounds like fun, right? Who's in?!

OK, I'm bored with all of this unemployment talk. Time to play Candy Crush.

Peace out!

Om Mani Padme Hum

Hello, friends! Let's catch up on the last month, shall we?

First of all, I'm still unemployed, but I'm much closer to jumping off of the government teat, so that's a good thing!  ;)

There is one job in particular that I really, really, really want and should hear about this week. I've seriously done everything that I can to get this job: I studied HARD CORE for the interview and feel like it went really well, I followed up, and even hand-delivered cupcakes with a note. If they don't appreciate my efforts, then I guess it's just not meant to be and I'll have to accept that. 

Seriously, I've prepared for and studied so much that I should write a book about how to prepare for and interview for a job. Except that I haven't gotten a job yet so there's that ...

Next up, my abysmal dating life. I went out on three dates with a guy, recently, but there was quite obviously not a love connection, so I decided not to waste either of our precious time. He was very nice and smart and somewhat interesting, but I don't think he was interested in ME.

I learned a lot about him because he spoke incessantly about his job and his life, but really never asked any questions about me. I offered up information because I felt he should know who he was hanging out with, but he never asked for more. The last time we went out, I purposely quit asking questions to fill the air just to see if he would. We sat in silence and people watched for an hour. It's OK. He was REALLY skinny and I'm pretty sure I would have broken him if it ever came down to sexy time, anyway.

There was another guy who I thought that I may be interested in, but then he called me and after five minutes on the phone, I wrote it off. Hard core, huh? All it took was him telling me that he was scared to travel outside of the country because of "what's going on in the world right now" for me to write him off. Pussy. 

Then there was a third guy who called me and within one minute of ever speaking with him, asked me why I hadn't had kids. Next! Let's face it; I'm not ready to date right now, anyway. 

Finally, I have some heartwarming news which I feel I can share. I found out today that my dad has a girlfriend! He told me that he doesn't care if people know, so I feel comfortable writing about it. 

My step mom has been gone for three years and I wondered whether my dad would ever open up his heart again and meet someone. She was the love of his life and always will be; but being the silver fox that he is, the ladies couldn't stay off his jock!  OK, that's a little extreme, but he did meet a nice lady (or she sounds like she's nice) and he's happy. 

They are planning a trip and he's going to fly! My dad is terrified of heights and I've never known him to fly, so this must really be a big deal. I cried when he told me it made me so happy! 

Here's to a great week full of great news!

It's Warm-Fuzzy Time ...

I had a much needed GNO last night which involved a couple of beers, a lot of people watching and some kick ass music!  

People watching is the best! I saw a couple of girls who were definitely going to end up bent over a bed later and/or bent over a toilet, depending on which came first. But, I digress ...

One of the girls I was out with I've known for years, but we'd never really been close. I really dig her, but I realized that I didn't know a lot about her. After our conversation last night, I vow to do a better job "knowing" my friends.

I found out that she, too, had lost her job in the past and had actually been out of work for a year and half. She understood what I was going through and gave me some great advice and encouraging words. There's something comforting in commiserating with people who've had the same experiences. It makes you feel like a little less of a loser and restores your hope that this will all work out for the best.

She suggested that I watch J.K. Rowling's Harvard commencement speech from 2008. She mentioned that the speech had a great message about finding the positive in failure and making the most out of what life dishes out. Because, let's face it, we all experience failures, some larger than others. We are defined not by our failures, but by how we bounce back and move on.

I'd like to share this with you all and hope that you'll take some time to watch it. Her message definitely touched me based on what I'm currently going through, but it's one that I feel should touch and inspire all of us in one way or another.

Peace and love, friends. And thanks, Debbie!

The Unemployment Chronicles - Membership has its Priviledges ...

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of being on unemployment, they apparently now require everyone to check-in in-person every four weeks. I completed my first check-in today and I have to say, I feel like I need a shower after that trip.

I went to a satellite office up by the airport, so it was a little less disgusting than I'm sure it would be a their main office, but no less humiliating.

You're required to complete a profile online and answer twelve "basic assessment" questions, I guess to make sure you're not a complete, unemployable dullard. Apparently I aced the math and missed one of the reading questions - seriously? It didn't really matter, but being the over achiever that I am, I almost asked her to re-take the assessment. Almost.

There was a guy ahead of me there for his check-in. He had to bring along his girlfriend to use the computer because he didn't know how to use a computer. I'm pretty sure she really didn't know how to use a computer, either, but her struggle was much less than his.

He stunk like cigarettes and bon fire and left his smell on the seat so that I could sit in it as I met with the nice lady running the office. She and I had a  laugh over how much he stunk and how dirty and nasty he was. She mentioned that his hands were covered in dirt and soot and that she "didn't know how that woman let him touch her." She said, "I'd tell him 'go wash your fuckin' hands'! Oh, Lord, forgive me!" Yes, she dropped the "F" bomb on my 4-week check in. We are now besties.

So, I'm officially a card carrying member of the Missouri Career Center Full Employment Council. Yes, they give you a card and call you a member. I'm framing this bitch when this is over, mark my words!

Happy Friday!

Pretty in Pink ... Isn't sheeee....

Yes, I'm still unemployed, but I've decided that I'm not going to dwell on it or write much about it tonight. I've had a couple of good interviews and the law of numbers tells me that something will fall into place soon (at least that's what I learned in my first sales position).

I am amazed at how relaxed I've felt lately. I seriously could get used to not working (as long as I had money, of course). I don't miss the stress and bullshit of the corporate world and am thinking seriously about getting out of it. One of the jobs I interviewed for would be out of the "hustle and bustle" and I hope they liked me enough to offer me the position. I think a change is in order.

I'm not naive enough to believe that I won't have stress at any job, but I promise I'll never again work for a company that considers it a sport to yell at and berate their employees. Mark my words.

So, onto the fun stuff. It's no secret that I dabble in the world of online dating from time to time. Well, to be honest, lately it's just been a lot of messages and no effort on the guy's part to actually meet me, so there has been more dabbling than "dating."

Truly, I don't know why I still do it because I seem to only meet people with commitment issues or admitted STDs. Those of you who know me know that I don't give up easily, so I think that it's become a sport to me to prove that busy NORMAL people actually can meet online. Well, I've had a new issue thrown at me - cross dressing.

I met "George" a few months ago (honestly, I don't remember his name). We chatted and started texting and playing Words with Friends. I was really busy getting ready to move, so we decided that we'd meet once I got settled. Well, once I got settled and was ready to meet, he decided that I lived too far away (whatever) so we quit talking.

He recently sent me a message but I couldn't figure out who it was from because his profile pic had changed (see the shock and horror below):

This would indicate to me that he takes cross dressing seriously. I mean look at the amount of eyeliner for fuck's sake! He's not fucking around! And the pink wig? I can only imagine the nipple shot if he'd decided to pan down ... ugh.

So, needless to say, I didn't respond to his message, nor have I asked him WHAT THE FUCK? I'm pretty open minded, but I don't want to date a guy who wears more makeup than me - PERIOD.

People, I swear, I don't make this shit up.

Peace out.