"When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

It’s time for Spiffy to reflect on the year that has come and gone. Take inventory of her failures and, of course, her successes.  You know what they say, "failure is success if we learn from it."  Well, I've been a sedulous student this year, my friends!

BUNGLES :(

• I killed at least three plants. I over watered my rubber tree plant and have no idea what I did to my other plants, but the last one to make its way to foliage heaven is featured below. In lieu of sending flowers, please make a donation in my name at Bank of America. Thanks.

• I lost one of my crowns. I like to chew gum and I chewed it right off of my back tooth. Luckily I didn’t swallow it…that was a first… 
• I didn’t snag a boyfriend. I had some prospects, none of which panned out and I’m OK with that. I believe that everything happens for a reason, so I’m moving this one on to a 2011 goal. If worse comes to worse, I still have my stun gun and I’ve been working on my knot tying skills.
• I still can’t do a yoga headstand without leaning against the wall. 
• I didn’t run a marathon. Or a half marathon. Or a 10k. But…

BOOMS :)

• I ran a couple of 5k’s and, let’s just be frank, I ran – period. I’m good with that.
• I turned 40 this year and didn’t spend the day curled up in a fetal position sobbing hysterically. I thought it was going to be the most traumatic thing to happen to me since they canceled Arrested Development, but on a scale of “Meh” to “Holy Fuck!” I’d say I settled right in the middle at “What’s that burning smell?” 
• I bought a new car which I’ve named Maynard after the best front man ever to walk the earth – Maynard James Keenan. I’m at least 100 feet away from him and there was nothing in the paperwork about naming things after him, so everything is fine. Relax.

Maynard James Keenan - so incredibly hot.

• I bought some new furniture so I don’t feel as bad about living in an apartment. I have to remind myself that on the coasts, apartment living is typical and not looked down upon. Unfortunately, in the Midwest I’m still expected to own my own home. Fuck off. 
• I transferred to Park University and will soon finish my degree. This time next year I’ll have that piece of paper that says I can do what I’ve been doing for years, except that now I’ll have thousands and thousands of dollars of extra debt to prove it! Yeah me.
• I saw a shit load of live music.  I dubbed my summer the "Summer of Concerts," and I lived up to it.  See above photo for one of the artists I saw twice this summer; all within the guidelines of the restraining order.
• I started this blog. I’ve thought about it and talked about it most of the year and finally, with the encouragement of my wonderful friend Courtney, I did it. It feels good to share my twisted alter-ego with the tens of people who read my blog! Thanks, Court!

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I like to put a surly spin on everything, but I’m actually pretty happy with what I’ve accomplished in 2010. In addition to the “things” I’ve gained this year, I’ve also gained a new appreciation for myself. I don’t put as much pressure on myself to be something or someone else any more. I will never have a perfect body (without liposuction), it’s doubtful I’ll ever be rich (without the lottery or a sugar daddy), and not everyone will like me (fuck them if they don’t like me), and I’m OK with all of this. Like my friend Tim said this week, 2011 is the year of Spiffy so look out, bitches!

I found this poem that I'd like to share:
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

Happy New Year and I hope you all have a fucking fantastic 2011!