I love to write, but I feel I've lost my "Spiffy mojo" since I don't have much to bitch about any more. I'm in love and I'm feeling more positive about my job, so life is pretty good.
With that, I think I'll focus on random thoughts that may have crossed my mind recently. Are you ready?
- Would I still cuss like a sailor if I had kids? I mean, I know I wouldn't cuss around them, but I really, really like to cuss and I think I would secretly go into a closet and drop F-bombs just to remind myself of who I really am and how well "for fuck's sake" flows off my tongue.
- When someone points out to you "you really cuss a lot," are they trying to tell you that they are really a big pussy and can't handle the sweet, sweet sounds of my colorful language?
- I just wrote two bullet points about cussing. WTF is wrong with me? Damnit ... now three ...
- I went to watch my main squeeze umpire girls softball today and took a look around at all of the parents. Is it written somewhere that once you have kids in sports that 1) you turn into a mouthy, bitchy, know it all who thinks their kid does no wrong; 2) your sense of fashion and understanding how to buy properly fitting clothes goes straight out the door? Seriously, stop in front of a mirror before you leave the house, camel-toe.
- Why is it difficult for people to understand how fucking fabulous I truly am?
- I had a discussion with a stranger in the Phoenix Skyharbor Airport bathroom about how effing hot it is there and how every woman needs a crotch fan. Now I really, really want to be the inventor of the "Comfy Crotch." I named it, bitches, back off!
- Why is Times New Roman the most annoying font to read? Ugh.
