Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Crush, crush, crush
I had a conversation over the weekend with a couple of my guy friends. They wanted to know which star I have a "girl crush" on and would have a lesbian fling with, should I ever find myself in the mood for a lesbian fling and in the presence of a star.
One of my buddies had no problem listing off at least five different guys he has had "completely plutonic" male fantasies about. I'll preface this by confirming that he's not homosexual, but I got the feeling that he'd put a little too much thought into this particular topic. A few of his choices: Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, Sean Connery, and Matthew McConnaughey.
Now, I've had my share of very non-plutonic fantasies about Johnny Depp, but the others don't do much for me. Not even McConnaughey and his killer abs.
Neither of my friends believed me when I told them that no one came to my mind immediately. I really hadn't put any thought into having either a girl crush or a lesbian fling. They continued to goad me until I came up with a few girl crush possibilities that I will share with you now:
- Gwen Stefani - I like her fashion sense, she's my age and is totally hot and yet cool at the same time. I really wouldn't find it hot to make out with her because of her fire red lipstick (it doesn't wipe off easily), but she'd be fun to have a few drinks with and talk about music and boys.
- Shakira - That girl can move like no other. Again, not feeling any sexual urges toward her, but I'd like her to teach me how to belly dance. In exchange, I could teach her to talk less like Kermit the Frog.
- Shirley Manson - Are you getting the theme to my crushes here?? Musicians. I dig musicians. Shirley is just bad ass - period. She's a red head with super pale skin, just like me. I think we're kindred spirits, although she got the cool Scottish accent and I got the boobs.
What about you? Any girl/boy crushes? Don't worry - I won't judge...much... :)
One of my buddies had no problem listing off at least five different guys he has had "completely plutonic" male fantasies about. I'll preface this by confirming that he's not homosexual, but I got the feeling that he'd put a little too much thought into this particular topic. A few of his choices: Johnny Depp, Matt Damon, Sean Connery, and Matthew McConnaughey.
Now, I've had my share of very non-plutonic fantasies about Johnny Depp, but the others don't do much for me. Not even McConnaughey and his killer abs.
Neither of my friends believed me when I told them that no one came to my mind immediately. I really hadn't put any thought into having either a girl crush or a lesbian fling. They continued to goad me until I came up with a few girl crush possibilities that I will share with you now:
- Gwen Stefani - I like her fashion sense, she's my age and is totally hot and yet cool at the same time. I really wouldn't find it hot to make out with her because of her fire red lipstick (it doesn't wipe off easily), but she'd be fun to have a few drinks with and talk about music and boys.
- Shakira - That girl can move like no other. Again, not feeling any sexual urges toward her, but I'd like her to teach me how to belly dance. In exchange, I could teach her to talk less like Kermit the Frog.
- Shirley Manson - Are you getting the theme to my crushes here?? Musicians. I dig musicians. Shirley is just bad ass - period. She's a red head with super pale skin, just like me. I think we're kindred spirits, although she got the cool Scottish accent and I got the boobs.
What about you? Any girl/boy crushes? Don't worry - I won't judge...much... :)
Monday, November 8, 2010
Excuses, excuses...
I awoke one morning in late 2008 with the revelation that I wanted to run a marathon. I thought, "Why not?" Afterall, I believe in myself and, let's face it, if I want something, I usually find a way to get it or make it happen.
Fast-forward to November 8, 2010. Let's take a look at the list of things I wanted to accomplish, an annual bucket list of sorts: win the lottery (nope), get a new car (yep), wrangle up a boyfriend or even an occasional date (skant), new furniture (yep), run a marathon (hells no).
I've run a few 5k's and I'm proud of that, but I've since discovered that running just isn't my thing. My boobs are too big and my knees are too shot to find much, if any, enjoyment in the activity. Although I'm pretty sure my big boobs and shot knees should offer me some type of advantage in the boyfriend category, but maybe that's just wishful thinking....
An even bigger kick in the teeth to me was the news story about the Chilean miner who was stuck miles below the surface for over two-months, trained by jogging in place wearing steel-toed boots, and just finished the New York marathon. Kudos to you, Mr. Miner, but suck it sideways for upstaging me!
Maybe I'm just making excuses. Maybe not. I really wish I enjoyed running and could find my "zone" as they call it. I've gotten better; I'm a master "wogger" and I no longer suck air and think I'm going to pass out while jogging up the street, but I doubt I'll ever run a marathon. And I'm OK with that fact.
What I'm not OK with - the lack of sex in my life. Not that I haven't had offers. I mean, come on, have you seen my rack?? Unfortunately those offers while tempting- come with baggage. The only baggage I'm looking for right now is one with a Burberry label, thank you very much.
*Disclaimer - if anyone from my family reads this, I apologize for the potential mouth-vomiting after visualizing my rack.
Fast-forward to November 8, 2010. Let's take a look at the list of things I wanted to accomplish, an annual bucket list of sorts: win the lottery (nope), get a new car (yep), wrangle up a boyfriend or even an occasional date (skant), new furniture (yep), run a marathon (hells no).
I've run a few 5k's and I'm proud of that, but I've since discovered that running just isn't my thing. My boobs are too big and my knees are too shot to find much, if any, enjoyment in the activity. Although I'm pretty sure my big boobs and shot knees should offer me some type of advantage in the boyfriend category, but maybe that's just wishful thinking....
An even bigger kick in the teeth to me was the news story about the Chilean miner who was stuck miles below the surface for over two-months, trained by jogging in place wearing steel-toed boots, and just finished the New York marathon. Kudos to you, Mr. Miner, but suck it sideways for upstaging me!
Maybe I'm just making excuses. Maybe not. I really wish I enjoyed running and could find my "zone" as they call it. I've gotten better; I'm a master "wogger" and I no longer suck air and think I'm going to pass out while jogging up the street, but I doubt I'll ever run a marathon. And I'm OK with that fact.
What I'm not OK with - the lack of sex in my life. Not that I haven't had offers. I mean, come on, have you seen my rack?? Unfortunately those offers while tempting- come with baggage. The only baggage I'm looking for right now is one with a Burberry label, thank you very much.
*Disclaimer - if anyone from my family reads this, I apologize for the potential mouth-vomiting after visualizing my rack.
Monday, November 1, 2010
"Bad people are sent to Washington by good people who don't vote."
Now, you may think that Spiffy Chick only likes to talk shit and drop "f-bombs." While both of those assumptions are true, there is much, much more to good ole' Spiffy.
Tonight, I'm going to balance on my tippy toes on top of my soap box. Tomorrow are the mid-term elections and I wonder how many of you will actually get off your ass and go out and vote. I'm guessing, not too many.
As much as I dislike the redundancy of the political ads spewing lies and negativity over the past few months, I really hope that everyone gets off the couch and takes a few minutes to make your opinion known. Even though you may not have the same opinion as me, you should have an opinion and should care about who represents your voice.
Realistically, this mid-term election will temporarily energize us, lull us into the false hope that things will be different. It would be awesome if we all took some time to educate ourselves about what's going on with our economy and in our country and, heck, in the world! Learn to understand that what we're spoon-fed by the media isn't always (is rarely) the complete truth.
Wouldn't it be nice to understand the noises coming out of the gaping hole in that talking head on TV? To know whether they were telling you even a partial truth or spinning something into a neat little package that you will surely gobble up?
OK, that's all. My legs are tired from all of this soap-box standing. Live long, prosper, and make a difference!
Tonight, I'm going to balance on my tippy toes on top of my soap box. Tomorrow are the mid-term elections and I wonder how many of you will actually get off your ass and go out and vote. I'm guessing, not too many.
As much as I dislike the redundancy of the political ads spewing lies and negativity over the past few months, I really hope that everyone gets off the couch and takes a few minutes to make your opinion known. Even though you may not have the same opinion as me, you should have an opinion and should care about who represents your voice.
Realistically, this mid-term election will temporarily energize us, lull us into the false hope that things will be different. It would be awesome if we all took some time to educate ourselves about what's going on with our economy and in our country and, heck, in the world! Learn to understand that what we're spoon-fed by the media isn't always (is rarely) the complete truth.
Wouldn't it be nice to understand the noises coming out of the gaping hole in that talking head on TV? To know whether they were telling you even a partial truth or spinning something into a neat little package that you will surely gobble up?
OK, that's all. My legs are tired from all of this soap-box standing. Live long, prosper, and make a difference!
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